Peccant
by Autumn Dusk
Summary: Unrequited love is too cramped to be satisfying for long. Tomoyo has grown tired of it all. When Hiiragizawa Eriol returns to Japan, he finds that things do not always stay the same. But she was as beautiful as ever.
1. One

**Amaryllis Dusk**: I suspect that this plot has been done to death several times already. Ah wells. (whistles innocently). Enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Card Captor Sakura.

…**ONE…**

When he had received the news of what had happened to his childhood acquaintance, he was holding the letter that he had received from her only the day before and had stared at the elegantly scripted words until they swam before him.

"_Come to Japan sometime, won't you, Hiiragizawa-san?"_

The day he received the thin white envelope-lightly scented with something that reminded him of orchids, roses, and cherry blossoms-it was weeks after she had written and mailed it. Mail from Japan generally tended to take a while to be delivered if it was addressed to England. It was the second and last letter ever sent from her though she had implied upon his departure ten years ago that she would attempt to keep in touch.

Her first letter had been eight years after he left and had informed him of her best friend-his semi daughter through a rather obscure and best left unexplained history-and her plans to marry her boyfriend. Said best friend was to marry in five months and three days and she truly hoped that he would come. Sakura-chan, she had written, was too preoccupied with wedding plans to write and so had delegated her to invitation duty. They would all be delighted if he came, she had continued, though she suspected that Syaoran-kun was an exception. He had smiled at that but then regretfully and briefly declined in a letter of his own, sent by express mail. Though he would have loved to see them all again, he was simply too busy. He did wish the happy couple the best of luck.

She had never replied to that letter.

The next letter came two years after that.

"_It is boring here in Tomeda, though I have little to complain about", _she had written in her delicate handwriting, _"I am not wanting for much here, Mother's toy business is doing fine and all our friends are healthy and happy. How are you and Mizuki-san doing? And Nakuru-san and Suppi-chan? Well, I hope."_

He had eagerly scanned her letter once, twice, thrice, many times over though nothing personal was scribed there. The reserved quality of the letter was just like her. He imagined her as he remembered her, ten years of age and already a lovely beauty with gentle amethyst eyes and long flowing dark hair. What did she look like now?

"_Come to Japan sometime, won't you, Hiiragizawa-san"_, she had concluded finally, _"I'd like that very much."_

Scrawled on the very bottom of the page was a phone number.

"_You can reach me by this number."_

* * *

"Daidouji-san?" He stood leaning against the table, his phone pressed to his ear as he absently tapped his fingers on the dark mahogany table. The woman's voice did not sound anything like the Daidouji Tomoyo he remembered but that had been ten years ago and she had only been a child then.

A soft sob was his reply. Shifting confusedly in his position, he bit his lip. His two roommates in the room with him perked up at his reaction. One, a pretty woman with dark red hair and vibrant happy looking eyes cocked her head to the side at the look on her master's face. The other, a small black cat with large grave eyes and two miniscule wings sprouting out of his back gave the man an appraising look. He took no notice of either action but instead focused on the woman on the other line.

"Um…forgive me but…is Daidouji Tomoyo there? I'm Hiiragizawa Eriol."

"I'm sorry but…" The woman suddenly had become articulate. A small scuffling sound came from the other line as well as another woman's voice. "Here, let me."

"Who is this?" The woman was soon replaced by another. Her voice sounded younger and vaguely familiar.

"Hiiragizawa Eriol."

"Eriol-kun?" Her voice was muffled, still etched with an odd tone of sorrow. Behind her, he heard a woman sobbing loudly.

"Who is this?" He inquired curiously, his dark blue gaze landed on the woman who threw him an amused look followed by a childish face meant to make him laugh. He smiled slightly at her effort and then turned back.

"It's me, Sakura."

"A pleasure to hear from you again, Sakura-chan."

"Same here."

"Not to be rude, Sakura-chan, but where's Daidouji-san?"

There was a long pause from the other end of the line.

"Sakura-chan?"

There was another pause before she finally spoke.

"Tomoyo-chan's dying."

The innocent letter trembled between his suddenly sweating fingers before crumpling up into a futile, nostalgic ball of ruin.

"_Come to Japan sometime, won't you, Hiiragizawa-san?"_

* * *

"She's in a coma", said the woman over the line after he had stood in shocked silence for several minutes and Sakura had finally passed the phone back to the older woman for help, "The doctors are doubtful of her ever waking up again. I don't know what to do…" She broke off, weeping terribly.

He understood, tremendously well under the circumstances he had found himself thrust under so immediately. After all, sometimes he suspected that the mothers were the most inconsolable during times such as this.

"Are you to come to see her?" She inquired abruptly, interrupting the brief silence that had ensued after her semi-announcement. He was indistinctly aware that his two roommates were still occupying the room and now viewing their master with varying degrees of concern; the woman with an almost comical amount of worry drawn on her pretty face, the cat with grim expectation in his solemn eyes.

"Yes", he said too loudly after a few more seconds of quiet, swiftly remembering the woman on the other line and the question he was to answer, "Of course." It would take him approximately a day to reach Japan via the fastest flight possible and then some several days to settle in.

"Eriol-kun? It's me again." It was Sakura. "Is Kaho-san set to come too?"

His gaze became colder, harder as he stared off at a certain point on the pale white wall of his living room.

"I do not think that Mizuki-san will be coming with us", he stopped short, "However I will be bringing Nakuru and Spinel with me."

"Alright. We'll be waiting."

There was a small _click_ and he realized that the sound of the dial tone buzzing in his ear was most distracting.

…**END…**

**Amaryllis Dusk**: Interesting? I actually intended to kill off Tomoyo-chan in my first version before deciding that it might make for more drama to have her dying instead of already dead. Heh. Please review.


	2. Two

**Amaryllis Dusk: **This chapter is a bit iffy to me. Basically the whole story plot is progressing in this chapter and see, I'm not good at making the whole plot unfold. Ah wells, I'll try my best. I hope for those of you who prefer well-researched and informed stories that you'll forgive me at this time. I'm exhausted from my first two weeks of high school. It's my first year and I'm taking all honors classes so yay, more stuff for me to do…I promise I'll try to update as soon as possible.

_**Reviews: **_

**Walking Green Cucumber: **I thought so too. Adds a touch more excitement, eh? Though normally I'm not good at suspenseful fluff like that. Heh. I'm glad you liked the little addition where Eriol thinks of the letter when the news is broken to him that was one of my favorite parts to write. Thanks for reviewing.

**Asga: **Hmm…you'll have to see about that. But don't fret, I don't normally kill off characters unless I'm in a seriously sadistic mood that day.

**MoMo-ChAn1**: Thanks!

**3musketeers: **Thank you! I hope that all my other chapters will keep you thinking that way. Ahh…I love it when people tell me I'm right, it happens so rarely. Hee.

**Yu: **Of course it's not the end, what you think I'm that cruel like that? Nah…I'm glad it seems interesting to you. But Tomoyo didn't die. She might. But she hasn't, yet if I'm in a particularly nasty mood as I'm writing.

**Modoki Mokona: **Your wish is granted.

**cristal-shian: **Between you and me, I think that at the very ending of this story, I will be brutally massacred but it's for the sake of the story!! I want it to go exactly how I planned and I think it would be beautiful and angsty for readers once this story's complete. At least, it'll be one of my best efforts. Thanks for the compliments, you have no idea how much those comments kept me floating all week. Hmm…you'll find the answers to these questions in the next chapters or so. Or maybe further on. You'll have to see.

**magical ayu: **Huh?

**Elvirna: **Thanks.

**Kuro Chocobo: **Thank you, I'm glad you like how this story is progressing. Your questions will be answered…eventually.

**heartluv: **Thank you, I'm glad you think so!

**…TWO…**

When the body of the toy tycoon's daughter was found lying composedly on her bedroom floor with dozens of bright orange pill bottles scattered around her, she had collected all the thousands of pictures and newspaper articles of the young beauty; taping them all onto the walls of her bedroom like a shrine. Sometimes, her husband said, at night he could hear a child's sobs dripping out of the faucet in the bathroom connected to their room.

Do you think that she will wake up again, she asked him dully the morning two days after they had pronounced Daidouji Tomoyo in critical condition. Her normally happy emerald eyes were clouded with concern and anxiety. Her pretty tan hands wrapped tightly around the tea mug he had handed to her and she stared down into the dark brown steaming contents as if they could tell the future. She shivered and he knew she wasn't cold. He touched her shoulder reassuringly, brushed a few stray strands of chestnut brown hair out of his wife's face and tried to smile. Don't worry, he whispered, Tomoyo-chan's a tough chick, she won't die on us that easily.

Tomoyo? Tough? She didn't think her best friend as 'tough' necessarily but the man sitting across from her at the kitchen table remembered how Tomoyo had looked at his young wife when they were children and told her that even if she didn't know it, Daidouji Tomoyo was used to being invulnerable.

* * *

**TOY BUSINESS HEIRESS FOUND IN BEDROOM**

Reporting by: Kiwa Ichiro

Additional reporting by: Minamoto Maeko

In a recent tragedy that shocked the Tomoeda community at large, the young toy heiress, Daidouji Tomoyo, was found unconscious in her bedroom. Daidouji's mother, Daidouji Sonomi, reportedly was the one to find the girl, according to an unnamed source. Police called to the scene refused to comment on the situation and directed all questions to Daidouji-sama. A representative for Daidouji and her business confirmed the tragic incident and stated, "…Our concerns right now remain primarily with young Tomoyo-chan and it is our hope that you respect our and Tomoyo-chan's privacy during this difficult time. We hope you understand."

Hospital representatives for Tomoeda Hospital, where it is reported that the young Daidouji-san is staying, have refused to answer any questions or confirm Daidouji-san's registration into the hospital, citing privacy issues. As of right now, it is believed that the unconfirmed overdose on pills was an attempted suicide but this remains to be proven true.

* * *

"I loved her…because the love was like a tree which sets its roots deep into the ground. It was stable and even though I knew that she knew nothing of this love, I found solace in it during the nights when Mother would be out and I would be alone in the house with only the servants to keep me company." 

"Aren't you ever lonely?" He had asked her. She smiled radiantly, shook her head. "No. As long as the people I love are happy…then…I am happy."

"It must be difficult", he said. "Very difficult."

"Not for I, Hiiragizawa-san. It's very easy for me to like whatever the ones I love like…I find it most satisfactory."

"And yet, you feel cold and separate." Once he had seen her standing in the park, beneath one of the common cherry trees. Her pale hands had reached up and ripped out some of the delicate pink blossoms and she had crushed them in her hands, smiling pleasantly as if she wasn't trying to die.

"Not cold and separate, Hiiragizawa-san. Complete."

"Even without the one that you love."

"Yes because she has the one she loves. Li Syaoran. And she is-"

"Happy", he finished for her. "You are happy because she is happy. I know."

It must have been very lonely, he mused, to live inside a heart like hers. Her heart conformed to everyone else's hearts and no one knew what the original was like.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing some slight turbulence at the current moment. If your seat belts are not fastened, please fasten them now." A pleasant female voice came out of the speakers in accented English, followed by the same voice speaking in rapid Japanese. Sighing very softly, he stole a glance over at his fellow companions. Nakuru was dozing very lightly, her mouth open slightly as she murmured unintelligible things in her sleep, one hand was gripping the armrest tightly (though she was accustomed to flying, _this _was not exactly the kind of flying she enjoyed), the other hand holding Suppi-chan who looked vaguely disgruntled but didn't stir.

There was a general mutinous mutter among the passengers, many looked eager to get off this plane and into Japan. He supposed that 19 or so hours sitting plainly on a plane with little to preoccupy a person could grate on one's nerves. Looking out from the window seat that he had so swiftly claimed, he saw only white and tried to see other colors.

"_What do you think could possibly be making him late?" _hissed the woman impatiently. She gripped the armrests of the plastic orange chair her husband had forced her to sit in after she began to pace restlessly in the waiting area, drawing annoyed glances and whispered disapproving words among certain people.

"Calm down, Sakura." He tried very hard to sound placating and soothing (failing miserably in the process). "Trust me, he'll get here." Somehow his last few words did not sound reassuring as much as disappointed. Wincing as he heard his own words (and the tone used), he took another shot at it. "Eriol-kun's flight is just being delayed a little. He'll get here. He always does." Acknowledging the fact that he now sounded sulky and resentful, he gave it up as a lost cause and decided to just resume the nervous jiggling of his leg and giving the occasional (frequent) glance at his wife as if he worried she might fly out of her seat any minute and try to bring down the airplane herself.

"Flight 213, now arriving in gate 265."

Finally.

"That's Eriol-kun's flight!" Leaping up from her chair, Sakura ran to the front. Syaoran slowly and reluctantly followed. A fresh stream of people came out of the doorway, looking haggard, tired, and slightly disoriented. Sakura searched for a shock of dark blue hair, long dark red hair, perhaps a small cat with wings acting as a stuffed animal.

"Where is he?" She inquired of her husband who only shrugged carelessly. Rolling her eyes at his reaction, she then stood on her tip-toes for a more effective search. This, however, proved futile as she was a generally short person and only increasing her height by a few centimeters proved to help little. However after a good few minutes of looking this way, she gave a loud shout.

"Eriol-kun!"

The person in front of her tossed her a very dirty look which was blithely ignored. The tall man with dark blue hair beside a woman with dark red hair and carrying a small stuffed toy turned around at the call. His dark eyes roved through the crowd of waiting people until finally they rested on her and then to her husband beside her. A small spark of mischief went into his eyes which did not go unnoticed by the young man who gave a small groan of despair, brushing his dark brown hair out of his eyes.

"Hell, did he really have to come?"

With amazing skill, Eriol weaved his way in and out of the crowd until he came up beside them. The woman followed after silently.

"Sakura-chan." He bowed respectfully before giving her a small smile.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! Syaoran-kun!" The other smiled widely at two of her favorite 'subjects'.

"Eriol-kun! It's great to see you again. And Nakuru, it's good to see you again." Sakura beamed at them though the smile seemed slightly strange. Forced, more like. Surveying him closely, she realized something crucial was missing in his appearance.

"You're not wearing glasses", she pointed out. "You look better."

"Thanks", he replied with what _seemed _like gratefulness. "I replaced them with contacts. It makes for more attention from the female half of the population", he demonstrated with another larger charming smile.

A disdainful snort came from Syaoran, causing the man to focus on him instead of Sakura.

"Ah! Syaoran-kun, glad to see you again."

Casting an awkward glance over at his wife who mouthed several and ominous looking words in his direction, he turned back to Eriol who waited patiently with a knowing smirk.

"Uh…same here", he muttered. Taking the offered hand, he shook it very briefly and then released it quickly.

"I already got our luggage", continued Eriol, now turning back to Sakura as Syaoran tried very subtly to wipe his contaminated hand on his dark black jeans. He waved one large bag in the air as he said it. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, we already got the van set to go. Syaoran?" She turned quizzically to her husband who had resumed glaring at Eriol after he was sure his hand was no longer contaminated. Too late. Syaoran tried hastily to change his expression from nasty to one of careful concern but she had already caught it. Giving him a very pointed look that assured him it was the couch tonight, she looked brightly up at her old friend. "All right, we're all ready!!"

Skipping ahead of them (Nakuru having decided that although it would be more entertaining to stay, it would be wiser to go), Eriol and Syaoran watched them for a few seconds before Eriol leaned in to speak to Syaoran.

"I'm sure we'll have a great time together, Syaoran-kun. But…you seem a little odd. Are you sure you're alright?" He cocked his head at the man in mock concern.

Syaoran, now quite sure his wife was out of earshot, let him know just how alright he was by spouting a long string of colorful profanities that were not repeatable in proper society. A short silence followed.

"You have quite an imagination, Li", Eriol finally said. "Even I'm not sure that some of those things are _possible_."

"They are, if you know how to do it right", was the irritated and ominous reply. However, to the man's indignant fury, the other just looked immensely amused, adjusting the large pack on his back before following after Sakura.

Grumbling something not printable or indeed worth repeating, Syaoran grudgingly took suit.

* * *

"So…how is she?" 

Sakura sighed and turned around from her front seat in the car. "Not improving. Not getting any worse. You'd think that'd be some good news but still…"

"What do the doctors say?" He frowned, still staring out the window pensively, his previous burst of good nature at seeing his old friends already gone.

Syaoran gave a short laugh that sounded anything but happy, taking his eyes temporarily off the road. ("Syaoran, don't forget you're driving!" was the shrill warning after they narrowly avoided crashing into a car coming from the other direction.)

"They say the chances of her waking up…recovering…less than 3 percent."

"The number of pills she took," Syaoran paused, "It's a miracle she isn't dead right now, anyway. They've kept all sorts of machines pumping all that crap out of her stomach but the doctors are wary of telling us exactly what the pills did to her body. They're saying heart damage and that all the shit she did to her body was made worse because…she wasn't really taking care of herself before the…thing."

A silence settled unhappily upon the inhabitants of the car, leaving Eriol to stare stonily out of the window and muse upon the amount of desperation Tomoyo must have felt to take all those pills at once.

"Do you want to see her?" Sakura craned her head to meet her childhood friend's eyes. "This afternoon? We can take you."

He thought it over quickly. Nakuru and Spinel were exhausted from the flight, he could feel a serious case of jet lag coming over…did he really want to?

"I think it'd be best to settle in first. After all…"

"That's alright", Sakura answered reassuringly. "Maybe tomorrow then."

He wasn't sure he was going to be ready tomorrow.

**…END…**

**Amaryllis Dusk: **I'm not as happy with this chapter as I was with the first but I tried my best. Hopefully you guys liked it. Please review.


	3. Three

**Amaryllis Dusk:**Huh. It only took me um…about 2 months to think this little short chapter up…somehow though, I've gotten very attached to it. I actually began the chapter much more differently with a different sort of concept in mind. I planned it to be much longer. Hmm…LOL. I went through two versions of completed chapters before deciding I absolutely felt no interest in the way I was developing them and trashed them both. I just sorta got inspiration for this one after reading a poem from one of my most favorite people in the world and was all like, 'Yay! I love where this is going!' LOL. Sorry, going off on a tangent. I'm starting to do that a lot. Anyways, forgive me for the shortness of this chapter, I just thought it suited the chapter fine and I wanted to post **something **up.

**Note: **I was just informed by Shei-lee that replying to reviews is not allowed, something I didn't know! I don't want to be reported so I'm complying by the rules. However, I will be posting up replies to all reviewers on a different website because I want all you guys to know how much I appreciate you guys taking a few seconds out of your time to write me a review and I want to reply to each and every one of you individually just to show you how much I appreciate it! It should be up in a week or so, I'll let you know, keep your eyes peeled and just so you guys know straight off, **THANKS!**

**Note 2: **Thanks bunchies again to Shei-lee who gave me so much ideas and helped me out so much since she first became my beta. Love you, Shei-chan!

**...FADE IN…**

_Sakura_

What little I remember of you has frozen into ice. The summer that I had spent most of my life dwelling has finally wintered and I wonder if we should ever meet each other face to face again without the burden of tragedy hovering over our bodies…what will we do if that day should ever come? Syaoran has promised that you will wake up and everything will be the same again but even I am not that naïve. Should you ever wake up again, you will be silent like the crimson roses budded in the late fall that only waits for the inevitable snowflakes to smother them to sleep.

I wish I could see your eyes open once more. I will tell you about how the city has seemed to realize that it is spring now and everything is lifting itself up again. The flowers have begun to sprout amongst the tiny stalks of yellow-green grass, overly enthusiastic to grow into a wild spread of rainbows, more perfect than jewels and flowers. Now the sun has started to remember itself and once, I had seen it looking through a barren tree, the faint sunlight filtered through by the bare branches and playing itself out in a kaleidoscope pattern onto the graying asphalt-muddled only slightly by melting snow. Oh, it was beautiful, Tomoyo-chan. I wish I had your video camera then. I could have taped it and played it by your bedside…maybe if you had seen how pretty it was, you would have woken up then, huh, Tomoyo? I think you would have. You always did appreciate beauty more than anyone else I knew. Today I woke up extra early just to see the sunrise. Remember how you told me you loved watching the sun rise? How it was the most miraculous thing you ever seen? You were right, Tomoyo.

_Eriol_

Every day you needed to see her just to get by, like a flower to the light. She never noticed your glances of secret longing that you always discreetly sent her whenever you could be sure that she was not looking but I did and so did her lover. I think that if you had known, you would have resorted to your usual procedure of cool detached pride and dignity but he never pitied you. I do think though that he did not know how to act with you…you could not be told to back off from sakura like he would have normally done to any potential threat to his relationship with her…nor could he help you or console you in any way at all because then you would have considered it sympathy and retreat completely into your abyss of solitude.

I know that secretly Syaoran has lost all hope of you recovering though he continues to reassure Sakura that you will get better and then all will return back to normal, if it was ever normal in the first place. Sakura herself is faltering, hesitant…afraid to keep on hoping…frightened nearly to death at the thought of stopping. Your other friends mourn, hope, daydream, wonder in different intervals while waiting voicelessly by your bedside during their free time and your mother has turned her business temporarily or permanently over to an anonymous businessman while she grieves privately in the loneliness of her own company, struggling but attempting to stay strong for the world.

Was it a moment of weakness or an act of utmost strength? Did you react according to the amazingly horrible dispassion that you suddenly felt overwhelm you or the final end to elaborate planning and doubtful self-questioning?

Was this self-inflicted fading a mistake or a blessing?

_Sonomi_

Every day since you left me, daughter, I search for a note from you. A sign. I think of your face all the while I do it. It's funny but your face grows into more of a blur as time goes by, I don't want to have to forget and then one day realize that all you have become to me is a distant blur of color and emotion. I took out all of the pictures that I have of you and I pasted them all over my bedroom walls to try and hide. It is not working.

The other day I asked Sakura what she had thought of this whole mess and she avoided my eyes, Tomoyo. My heart sank almost a few seconds before she averted her gaze frantically to the ground. "Sakura, do you think that this was going to happen no matter what? That she planned this?"

The furniture and servants were the only ones to greet me as I returned home, heartbroken and careless.

**...FADE OUT…**

_(PLEASE TELL MOTHER THIS WAS NOT HER FAULT)_

**Amaryllis Dusk**: Like I said…sorry for the lateness and the shortness. **Please do not****comment on how short the chapter is because I get tired of people repeating what I already know. Oh it was so short…blah…blah blah…It just annoys me so much!**

But all reviews are welcome. (smiles). Love you all! Be happy!


	4. Four

**Author's Note: **I've gone back to past tense for the sake of this story. In retrospect, it would be rather odd and jumpy to have different styles for every chapter. It wouldn't work well and I would like _Peccant _to be as good as I can make it. However, I will ask you all for reviews. I am a rather vain chickadoo and my return to writing and has made me uncertain. I would like to put out a work that is appreciated and so, I will vainly seek reviews to validate my decision to continue _Peccant_. I now know what direction I want to take the story so cheers! Do review! I was exceedingly disappointed with the drabblesque chapter I posted earlier so here's a new, hopefully better replacement chapter. Chapter four appears to be my waterloo as I now have worked it over a good three times. This will be the last chapter four (declared the fickle authoress).

**…FOUR…**

Tomoyo opened her eyes to blurry emptiness.

It was all paleness, these passive beige walls and stark white sheets. Her baked lips twitched into a faint frown as she tried to recall where she was. She was exhausted but, she thought vaguely, it was odd because she felt as if she had dreaming for a very long time.

She was alone. She did not know that Sakura had finally cajoled Eriol to come to the hospital the very next day. She only knew that she was awake in a strange room and there was no one there. She blinked quietly but imagined that she was screaming. She must be calling so loudly for help, why did no one hear her? Why did no one come?

Silence lent an irredeemable ugliness to the room. She hated everything ugly and messy, all that deserved to be hid and tucked away.

A horrible wish suddenly cut sharply through her hazy stupor, invading her consciousness until she could not think of anything else. She gazed petulantly up at the mockingly white ceiling. She could almost fancy that it was laughing at her. Perhaps she was in an asylum; it was almost a fitting end.

_If only she could go back to sleep, she liked the blackness better._

* * *

It had been several days since Eriol arrived in Japan. It was a jarring experience and he had never been fond of change.

In the intervening days, he preoccupied himself with exploring Sakura and Syaoran's home, immersing himself in their lives as if to firmly declare that he had never left in the first place. But their lives had grown in and around the empty spaces that his absence had created. They were older, older still because of…well.

He was resolute in ignoring memories, plaintive in their beckoning to him. In his valiant efforts to do so, he had picked up a rather strange habit of suddenly and painfully shaking his head, speaking loudly than warranted, as if to shout away an unwanted reminder of the past. Sakura and Syaoran were scrupulous in pretending not to notice; it was not the only change that they had had to feign ignorance about.

Syaoran was not happy about Hiiragizawa's presence in his house. Just the sight of him irritated the still-temperamental man, regardless of all that Eriol would do to keep the peace. Ten years was not enough to soften their relationship, he would have preferred that Hiiragizawa had stayed in England, far away from him. But he kept his grievances to himself. His wife was already so worried about Tomoyo. He would have suffered more to keep her from any added strain. And at any rate, Hiiragizawa had such an agonized look in his eyes, for all his calmness and abstract silences. It was an expression that Syaoran had never seen during their entire acquaintance. It made the kind - if hot-tempered - man uncomfortable. It would have been positively cruel to rebuff the man.

He was not an incredibly insightful man but Syaoran wondered often about Mizuki whose conspixuous absence was so coolly ignored by Hiiragizawa.

_Don't ask about it_, Sakura had said, looking uncharacteristically stern. _No, I don't know what happened but we have bigger things to worry about. And if Eriol-chan wants to talk about it, then he will. _

Li Syaoran was not one to defy his wife, so in awe of her as he was.

Eriol was not the only one who had come to look so haunted. Sakura's emerald eyes had grown dim of late, so eerie in a face that had become so pale that it was almost translucent. She had realized too late (as these things always go) that people were not meant to be ghosts.

Daidouji Tomoyo had very calmly become tired of being one.

* * *

"Good morning, Daidouji-san!" the nurse chirped as she bustled into the silent hospital room. She wasn't expecting an answer. She had come, equipped with clipboard and medical equipment, to carry out her daily duties. A pity, the beautiful toy heiress, the doctors often shook their heads as they exited the room. She approached the bed, still not paying close attention to the girl's now-alert face. She never enjoyed this part of her day, terribly sad, the entire thing. Death would be a kinder fate and, if she heard the doctors correctly, it was inevitable anyway.

"Well, Daidouji-san, it is quite a lovely day outside. Your friends promised they would stop by tomorrow." The matronly nurse finally brought herself to settle her unwilling gaze upon her patient's face.

How startled the poor woman was, to see a pair of limpid amethyst eyes glimmering faintly back at her.

* * *

Evidently, a call was required. Two, the nurse insisted. The mother wasn't the only one who had haunted the toy heiress's bedside.

The intensive care doctor rarely got to make such calls. He looked forward to it with a pleasure that he hardly ever experienced in his line of work. _Yes, yes_, he agreed, his wearied eyes brightening. He was hardly listening at this point. _Of course, nurse. Two calls.  
_

It was necessary to break bad news in person, to break it as gently as possible. He thought it was only fair that he break the good news in person. So when he called, he asked them to come down to the hospital. _My apologies, _he said both times, _I ask that you come down to the hospital. I have some news and would like to speak with you in person. _

They didn't hear the barely-constrained eagerness in his voice. They only recognized that he had news, major news, and they had come to believe that they had been assigned an excessively unhappy lot in life. So, they believed and feared the worst.

Sakura listened to the sound of the phone buzzing, even after the excited doctor hung up. She should have hurried, rushed to the hospital but she was too busy trying to remember what Tomoyo looked like the last time they spoke. It had been a trivial conversation, it must have been about Syaoran's work. It had been a significant problem for Sakura before...everything. Tomoyo had listened to Sakura's flow of complaints silently. If the curves of her lips were somewhat tighter than usual, Sakura hadn't noticed, as preoccupied as she had been with her own problems.

_Yes, well, Sakura, s_he had left out the "–chan' but Sakura failed to notice that as well, _you must not forget that Syaoran loves you very much. _

She had not suspected that it would be the last time. If she had, she might have been a bit more diligent, more affectionate towards her best friend. She might have been more careful in tracing insignificant details of this suddenly significant moment. But that was the way things always went.

After a few moments of silence, Sakura's shoulders straightened resolutely. She hung up the phone. She had become strong, she was stronger than she used to be. She turned away, her unshed tears wavering uncertainly on the tips of her eyelashes.

"Syaoran, Eriol!"

* * *

Sonomi could not abide sorrow.

She slammed the phone down with alacrity, not even bothering to offer a polite good-bye to the doctor. Her eyes were quite dry; she had always been hard. Perhaps it would have been better if Tomoyo had taken after her. But no, Tomoyo had always been cool curves and soft elegance. When broken, she only crumbled into pieces.

Well, Sonomi broke with sharp snaps and splinters.

She grabbed her jacket and her keys before she paused, turning to gaze angrily at the offending phone on the table. With one long sweep of her thin arm, she knocked the inanimate object onto the floor. It did not break, it should have broken into a million pieces.

She could not even get this one satisfaction.

* * *

They reached the hospital at the same time where the doctor was waiting for them, folders clutched tightly in his hand and a barely suppressed smile dancing about his unaccustomed lips.

**…END…**


	5. Five

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to all those who reviewed! They were so terribly kind and inspired me. I'm currently fleshing out the rest of the story; I have the ending in mind. Chapter 6 won't be posted until, perhaps, early July. I'm writing it right now. Do review, let me know whether you like the direction of the story. Suggestions and feedback are always gladly welcomed. Reviews = happy authoress = happy authoress inclined to look upon story & readers fondly = faster writing = faster updating. Just a hint. Much love to all of you!

…**FIVE...**

Joy, it was an odd feeling. They felt as though they had just been shaken roughly from a terrible dream, that they were just now awake and blinking blearily at the too-bright morning sun. One could get used to anything and they had become accustomed to darkness. Sakura's lips twitched uncertainly, it had been a long time since she had any occasion to smile. She couldn't speak; she turned to Sonomi silently for help.

"Awake?" Sonomi's voice was unsteady, betraying her own astonishment and fear. "Are you sure, doctor?"

His smile was patient. He understood their hesitation. "Yes, Daidouji-sama. She is awake and, better yet, alert. If you would like to see her…but please do not stay long, she must not be overwhelmed."

Eriol cleared his throat. The doctor turned towards the stranger, standing somewhat apart from the others who all stood as if dazed. The man might have been mistaken as calm, if only he weren't leaning so heavily against the wall as if he required its support. "And as for further treatment?"

The kind man paused, it might be too soon. "This, we can discuss in detail later. She will certainly require additional treatment, therapy. For now, let's just wait and see how she feels. I can tell you that I won't be releasing her just yet."

* * *

He wasn't sure whether he belonged here, with these people who were uncertainly transitioning from grief to reserved hope. He should have been closer to Tomoyo (_Daidouji-san, _he corrected himself automatically); they had been so similar in disposition. However, it must have been that their kindred talent for silences and perception actually inhibited, rather than facilitated, closeness. It was regrettable.

Eriol closed his eyes, listening to the hesitant murmurings of his companions. He was almost glad that Nakuru and Suppi had elected to stay home; they might have noticed his confusion. As it was, everyone else was too overwhelmed by the notion of Tomoyo's unexpected revival to pay much attention to him.

He wondered how she would look.

"Eriol-kun, are you ready?"

At Sakura's quiet question, Eriol quickly opened his eyes. He forced a smile down at her anxious face (she had unfortunately become more perceptive in the intervening years).

"Whenever you are, my cute little descendent." He sounded so carefully indifferent.

Sonomi, too impatient to wait for anyone, was already hurrying away. They had to jog to catch up with the feverish mother whose breaths were coming out in short, eager pants.

They all tumbled into Tomoyo's hospital room; it was almost comical how the invalid watched them enter with terribly startled eyes.

* * *

"Tomoyo!"

She would not acknowledge to herself that their overlapping calls of her name sounded pleasant to her. She remained silent, eyeing them calmly. It might have appeased them, if she were to reply. But her tongue felt quite dull, it would not move. And at any rate, she had decided that she would no longer be pleasant for everyone else's sake.

They were all huddled around her. She let her eyes drift lazily around to every one of them: too-pale Syaoran, Sakura with a wan and tear-stained face, and her mother who looked infinitely older than before. She took an almost perverse pleasure in noting their careworn appearances, evidence of the effect of her hospitalization; she was no longer a ghost. She was a person who would die spectacularly and be mourned.

Her darkened amethyst eyes finally settled upon an unknown form, a handsome man standing a little behind everyone else. He was so still, this familiar stranger, gazing back at her with steady eyes. It was his too-understanding look that prickled at her, inexplicably irritating her.

She didn't have to bear this.

They were all watching her anxiously. It was not what they expected; she should have been bursting from her bed with warm and brilliant smile as a greeting, all sadness forgotten. They had forgotten that Daidouji Tomoyo did not 'burst.' One did not forget sadness. At least, Tomoyo did not.

"Tomoyo?" ventured Sakura at last. She was never one for silences, Tomoyo remembered. She could appease them, make them happy by replying to them. But…

She was too weak for a dramatic or spirited rejection of their second-thought love. Instead, she settled for merely closing her eyes and turning her sunken face away from them, all of them. She wished that they would go away and leave her alone. Being alone was better than having to cater to all their needs. Again.

* * *

He did not belong, not here. But she looked so lovely, even thin and wasted as she was. At that moment, he could not wish himself away from this place. He felt such a tingle of electricity as she gazed at him with beautiful eyes that seemed too large for her face. He could almost detect a hint of vague contempt as their eyes met. Then she looked away, disinterested.

Eriol turned to look at his companions who had suddenly fallen silent. Sonomi and Sakura both looked deflated.

"I'm sure that she was just tired," he murmured to them, in reply to Syaoran's insistent look. "We should come back later. Remember what the doctor said."

At his words, Sakura seemed to rally. "Right. Tomoyo-chan just woke up, after all. Let's go and leave her in peace. I'm sure she'll be back to her old self before long." She sounded more hopeful than certain.

One by one, they all trailed out, leaving only Eriol. He stood there, staring at the still form on the bed. He knew that she was awake; it was the cruelest thing she could have done, to not even reply to them and only turn away. He could almost applaud her.

After a pause, he stepped closer to the bed. He could tell by the sudden tenseness in her back that she was aware of his presence. It was just as he thought.

"Well, Daidouji-san, do you recognize me?"

Steady, indifferent silence. He continued, none deterred.

"It's been so long but then you were the one to invite me to come to Japan. I've taken you up on your suggestion, you see, only…" His eyes were too-calm. "I had imagined our first meeting differently, you must understand."

She did not stir, refused to show any indication that she heard him. He smiled at her back knowingly.

"You are more beautiful than ever, Daidouji-san."

She waited until he left before she opened her eyes, murky with confusion.

So. It had been Hiiragizawa, then.

…**END…**


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